Welcome to NoVA    The Non-Violence Alliance

LATEST News and Articles

                     Take This Test!!

Are you violent, controlling or abusive to your spouse or partner, children or someone in your family or relationships?

2.  Do you feel you need or have a right to control or abuse our spouse, partner, child or family members?

3.  Do you use violence or intimidation to control other’s behavior?

If you answered "yes"
to any of these questions,

    Or you may know someone who is?    

    "Children learn from those whom they love the most... "

    Do you act this way toward a partner, ex-partner, child or family member?

  • Regularly criticize, call them names or put them down?

  • Minimize or belittle their feeling?

  • Make them feel afraid or unsafe?

  • Hit, punch, slap, kick, shove, strangle or bite them?

  • Destroy or steal their personal belongings?

  • Abuse or threaten your children or grandchildren?

  • Intimidate or manipulate them or your children? 

  • Isolate them from family or friends?

  • Threaten to reveal their deepest most personal secrets in order to control them?

  • Threaten to hurt them, their family or their friends?

  • Control their access to family money or transportation?

  • Prevent them from going out with friends or family?

  • Stalk, follow or harass them at school or work?

  • Humiliate them in public or in private?

  •  Have affairs or accuse them of being unfaithful? 

  •   Force them to have sex or do sexual acts against their will?

  • Use weapons or other objects to hurt or threaten them?

  •          YOU MAY BE AN ABUSER!

Do Fathers Recognize the Effects of
Partner Violence Exposure On Children?


More than 3 million children are exposed to the abuse of their mothers by an

intimate partner each year in the United States, and of these, between 30% and 70% are also physically or sexually abused by their mother’s batterer.

Men who batter can also jeopardize children’s well-being in a number of other ways, such as through neglect, manipulation, or by undermining mothers’ abilities to parent. Accordingly, children whose mothers are victims of relationship violence have been found to be at increased risk for a range of problems including depression, suicidality, anxiety, developmental delay, substance abuse, inappropriate behavior at school, academic problems, school health problems and aggression.  Exposure to intimate partner violence does not affect all children similarly. Research suggests that children’s response to witnessing intimate partner violence is moderated by the victimized parent’s level of stress, coping skills, and parenting ability.


Despite the negative impact of inter-parental abuse, courts seldom deny convicted batterers the opportunity to have some form of regular contact with their children. If contact with children can occur safely, victims of partner violence who separate from their abusers may want their partners to remain present in their children’s lives. For example, a victim may continue to rely upon her

partner for help financially and with childcare, she may feel cultural pressure to preserve family unity, or she may recognize that her children love and miss their abusive parent and feel hopeful that they can maintain a positive relationship


Two studies that have explored the extent to which abusers recognize the potential consequences of their behavior on their children. The studies suggest that fathers who batter may be less concerned about the effect of their partner violence on their children than are mothers, teachers and social services workers. Using a sample of 38 families, researchers assessed abusive and non abusive fathers’ awareness of their children’s behavior problems, correlating their responses to those of mothers, teachers and the children themselves. The study found that fathers with a history of partner violence were not likely to report that their children had behavior problems—despite the fact that mothers and the children themselves indicated otherwise.


Stepfathers or social partners lack a biological incentive for contributing to the healthy development of their partners’ children. However, biological fathers were more likely to physically abuse their partners than stepfathers or social partners, and children were more likely to witness partner violence if it was perpetrated by their biological father rather than a stepfather or social partner. 

Excerpted with paraphrasing from Running Head: Abusers View of Child Exposure to Imtimate Partner Violence (Rothman, Mandel, and Silverman 2007) Individual study annotations omitted.  

You are not alone.  You will be surprised by men who also behave this way towards their loved ones. Often this behavior comes from an attitude of entitlement learned in family and other social environments as a way of maintaining a sense of  control, power and safety.

There is help. A high percentage of men who participate in DV education and counseling become aware of their contribution to violence or abuse and learn new ways of expressing themselves in more effective ways which build respect and a sense of partnership which we all strive for in relationships.

Call Today!!

Save Your Children!

Save your Family!

Save Yourself!

From the dangers of Domestic Violence

There is hope.
We provide an environment for open and honest dialogue where men of varying backgrounds can share their common experience and express their fears of feeling powerless, helpless or afraid.  Often it is this first step which shines the light on the truth of our own feelings of being vulnerable and need to seize control. 

Give your children and your family a new start and a new outlook for the future. 

Website Builder